Loneliness Is Losing Our "We" — It Is Not Your Personal Problem

Have you ever felt most alone in the middle of a crowd?

This feeling has become increasingly common among young people in Hong Kong. Data from HKU's Faculty of Medicine shows the suicide rate for 15–24 year olds nearly doubled, from 6.2% in 2014 to 12.2% in 2022, and the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong's latest survey found depression and anxiety indices at a record high, worst among Gen Z.

But loneliness is not "you are introverted" or "you lack social skills". Loneliness is a signal: the bond between you and "we" has been broken.

Belonging is a need, not a luxury

In 1995, psychologists Baumeister and Leary proposed the "need to belong": the desire for stable, positive relationships is one of the most fundamental human motivations — as basic as hunger.

So loneliness is not "weakness". It is your body honestly telling you: you need to be seen and accepted. Like air, you cannot do without it.

The ripple effect: one break shakes the whole system

Your logo is a set of concentric ripples — one drop falls and circles spread outwards. Loneliness works the same way: a young person excluded online, with no foothold in the real world — that isolation ripples outward into their studies, their sleep, their self-belief.

In reverse, one genuine "how are you, really?" creates ripples too. You may never know how far that question travels in someone's life.

Yin and yang: solitude and connection are not a choice of one

Holistic Psychology will not tell you to "stop being so introverted". Introversion and solitude can be nourishment in themselves; the issue is only whether there is balance between solitude and connection. Yin and yang are complementary, not opposed — what you need is to find the "container" that fits you, not to force yourself into being someone else.

From "me" back to "we"

Next time you feel lonely, try not to ask "what did I do wrong?". Ask instead: who can I truly trust and speak honestly to? — then take that first step.